I have friends who know that I chose to legally carry a concealed weapon.  I have 13 years of security and law enforcement experience.  I am police academy trained and I have seen the victims of crime first hand.  I have a SC Concealed Carry Permit that allows me to carry a concealed weapon.

I do not carry a weapon because it makes me feel cool ,or because I think I am John Wayne.  I carry a weapon so that I can protect myself, my family and any innocent bystanders, should a criminal decide to use deadly force for personal gain.  Just recently in the news, a CWP holder was sitting at a Waffle House, and used his self defense training, and his concealed weapon to stop a criminal from hurting or killing the employees during a robbery.

I have a couple of friends who have told me point blank that I am too paranoid.  They believe that the government should remove all firearms from the population in the U.S. and that alone will stop all violent crimes.  What they fail to understand is that criminals will never give up their weapons.  We do not need more gun laws that restrict law abiding citizens from protecting themselves and their families.  We need more criminal control laws that will enforce stricter punishments on criminals who commit violent crimes against innocent people.  That includes my family and yours.  Please remember that violent crime against people is not a faceless crime.  There are real victims that suffer real consequences that can last a life time.

Read the article above. It may not make you rush out to your local gun shop to buy a weapon, or cause you to sign up for a CWP class.  My hope is that it will educate you to the real possibility of personal violence, that can and may happen, to you or your loved ones.

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As we look back at 2011, and examine our failures, we will find ourselves at a cross roads.  Maybe we failed at a task, or did not realize a dream or vision, because we failed to quit doing something that hindered us in meeting our goals.  Most of the time we view dreams or goals, as a set of tasks, that we must achieve in order to have success.  As we examine those tasks, and the time line that we set up for each of them, maybe we need to ask ourselves a simple question.   What did I do that might have ambushed my success?  

In 2012 the beginning series of messages at Coastal Community Church is the “I Quit” series.  At first it sounds sort of defeatist.  The hand holding up the white flag proclaiming defeat.  As I have sat through the last couple of Sunday sermons, I am being reminded of how powerful change can be.  The first message proclaimed “I quit making excuses!”  If you have read the last couple of blog posts you will remember my proclamation about weight loss.  No more excuses!!  I quit making excuses about not losing weight.  What dream or vision do you have that you are making excuses for?

I once heard a pastor say something that is so true.  If what I tell you on Sunday, can not be put to use in practical ways on Monday, then I am not doing my job.  Once the message is delivered, and we receive it,we have a decision to make.  What am I going to do with the message?  Do I continue to rationalize failure or do I stop making excuses?  Do I decide to step out in faith, and do what I can do, and then let God do what he will do in order for us to be successful. 

The second message is “I quit complaining”.  Do we like to complain about this or that?  Instead of complaining, should we take ownership of what the problem is, and find a solution?  Would that be better than whining?  Let me put this in real terms that you can relate to.  I live in a family of four people.  Two adults and two teenagers who are learning how to become adults.  We delegate to them tasks that they are expected to accomplish.  We want them to understand the value of work and the responsibilities of living in a family that is self sufficient.  In other words, the laundry does not get done by the laundry fairy and the dishes do not get cleaned by the dishes fairy.  No, it is not appropriate to put the dirty dishes on the floor and let the dogs lick them clean. 

On more than one occasion delegated tasks are either half way done and not finished, or just not done at all.  It seems as if the little things in life, the small annoyances tend to set me off the worst.  When I see the clean laundry piled up on the chair in the sun room and not put away it causes me to complain and whine about it.  I do not understand the logic of washing the clothes, drying them and then throwing them into a pile on a chair so they will wrinkle.  I must learn to stop complaining about the little things, and just take matters into my own hands.  When I see the task that is not finished, I need to either finish the task myself, or lovingly redirect my teenagers attention away from TV or the Internet. and get them to complete the task correctly.  At that point I can deal with their complaining and whining about having to do it. 

Making excuses and complaining about something is not going to solve the problem or help us to achieve our goals.  Taking ownership of our problems and having a positive prayerful mindset will take us so much further.  This is my problem, I acknowledge it and I want to figure out a way to fix it.  Sometimes fixing a problem requires going to someone and apologizing for being a jerk or not holding up our end of an agreement.  Sometimes fixing a problem requires making amends in a relationship.  Sometimes fixing a problem requires us to change our mind and heart attitude about a situation or person.   

In 2012 I want to learn how to stop making excuses and to stop complaining.   

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When we moved to West Ashley, we did not know much about this part of Charleston.  One day I decided I needed some “me time”, and I decided to explore our neighborhood.  That included driving to the end of Wappoo Rd just to see what is there.  That is where I discovered “My Happy Place”.  I discovered that this place was called “My Happy Place”, because of my check in on FourSquare.  For those of you that might not know, FourSquare is a location based GPS app, that you can install on your iPad or iPhone, that allows you to share your travels with others.  As I checked in there, I looked around and understood why someone named it that.

It is good to have a peaceful place to go, where you can by by yourself, or with a loved one.  Katy and I often get lunch, and then drive over to this location, and sit by the water and enjoy the sights and sounds of nature.  It is good to listen to the water lapping up against the rocks, and to visit with the occasional seagull or blackbird that comes close to the vehicle, looking for a free hand out. I have found that it is important to find a “Happy Place” where you can find peace and solitude and become one with nature.  Life is too full of tasks and goals that consume all of our time.  

Where is your Happy Place?  Where do you go to enjoy “me time”?  Do you go there by yourself or do you share it with a loved one? 

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One of the ways I am going to lose 1 lb. per week is to go to Planet Fitness five days a week.  I am going to shorten my work outs to one hour and focus on aerobic exercise for half of that time and then circuit training for the rest of the time.  In the past I have been going three times per week and spending 90 min to 2 hours and then skipping a day in between work outs.  In 2012 I am going to step it up and do more focused work outs. 

One of the ways I am going to lose weight is by disciplining myself not to eat those things that I know will cause me to put on weight and not lose it.  I am going to do my best to stay away from breads, pasta, rice, potatoes, sugar, chocolate, sweets.  I am going to eat wraps instead of sandwiches on bread.  I am going to try to drink more water during the day and less Diet Dr. Pepper or Coke Zero Cherry.  It took me a year and a half to get away from the sugary soda pop so I have met a goal in that regard.  I also need to eliminate snacking late at night when I am on the Internet or watching the idiot box.  If I need to snack it will be sunflower seeds.  That is something that meets the psychological need to cram something in my mouth and is very low in calories. 

Exercise is work but it is the best thing you can do for yourself.  Love yourself by eating better and getting more exercise in 2012.  We all need encouragement to do better in this area.  I want to encourage you to make a commitment to yourself and to me to stop making excuses.  Start over in 2012 and do what you need to do to be a better, thinner and more healthier you.  You can do it!!

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There is a lot of talk on TV and social media about New Years resolutions.  It is a known fact that most folks who make New Years resolutions have a very difficult time keeping those resolutions during the new year.  One New Years resolution is to lose those extra pounds that we packed on as we gorged ourselves during the holidays.  Gym memberships go up and folks make an effort to work out.  I am ahead of the curve on this one folks.  I did not gorge myself during the holidays and I was sick and lost weight.  That was one positive thing about being sick.  My short term goal is to lose 1 lb per week and I am hopeful that I can meet or exceed that goal. 

In 2012 I plan on continuing my healthy living goals which are very simple.  I plan on eating meal choices that are healthier for me.  I also want to work on burning more calories than I consume.  That means that I need to continue down the path of going to Planet Fitness on a regular basis.  I would like to see myself going to Planet Fitness every day and getting a minimum of 30 minutes of aerobic exercise.  Aerobic exercise is where I will begin to burn fat cells at an increased rate. 

In 2012 I plan on being less critical of myself.  I plan on living one day at a time and do the best I can with what I have.  I am my own worse critic, and boy do I love to judge myself, and remember those stupid mistakes from the past.  There is nothing I can do about the past, other than to learn from those mistakes and move on. 

In 2012 I plan on reducing my consumption of social media.  If I were honest with myself, I would have to say that I am a technology junkie (addict).  Technology to me is like mind candy, and I can not get enough of it.  I love social media, and having the ability to make personal connections with different people, via the many social media apps online.  I have an account with Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, Google Plus, LinkedIN and many more.  My goal is to reduce how much time I spend on the different social media portals.  As I have been consumed with social media, I have gotten caught up in mindlessly wandering through multiple social media streams of endless content. 

In 2012 I want to help others, become more aware for their need for personal and family defense preparedness.  I have begun to work on a series of articles that take a no nonsense approach, to what personal and family defense preparation is and is not.  I want to find a balance between preparing for the end of the world as we know it, and the belief that crime happens to other people.  My goal is to help people to be better prepared to keep themselves and their families safe in the world we live in through common sense solutions. 

In 2012 I want to be a better husband to my wife of 21 years and father to my children.  I want to be more thoughtful, compassionate and loving.  I want to be a better Christ follower and someone that gives of myself back to the community.  I want to be a better friend that brings value to the lives of others.  I want to continue to be an encourager to those that need encouragement.   I want to be a man of integrity, courage and compassion. 

Dear readers, what are your goals for 2012?  Do you share some of my goals or are they very different than mine?  How can we help one another to be who we want to be?  I look forward to your comments. 

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Oh yeah, back to what happened today.  I work for a vacation rental company that caters to vacationers that come to the SE coast from all over the world.  I would dare say that most of these folks are pretty well off.  I do my best to not compare my lot, with the likes of theirs, but something tells me that they are doing much better than we are.  Everything considered that is a very good thing, especially since their being able to vacation on the three islands, means that my company can continue to employee me.  A win win situation all the way around for me. 

I guess everything comes down to perspective, and how you view the world around you.  I do a lot of people watching when I am driving around, and I try to find people who look really happy and content.  Most of the time I do not find that type of person.  The same people who have paid gobs of cash to spend 7 days in a fancy house or town home on the gorgeous SE coast are just as harried, busy and fretful as those who work on the island.  I also notice how some of the vacationers treat the worker bees that provide them with the many services that they require while they are here visiting. 

For the most part it seems as if everyone that is the customer tries to be peaceful , content and unrushed when it comes to getting served.  All it takes is one bad apple to ruin it for the rest of the barrel.  I try to remember this as I walk amongst our customers and am waiting in line for service.  I try to give eye contact, and find out the person’s name and ask them how their day is going.  Most of the time they take a quick glance and look surprised that someone actually cares.  When I am one on one with them, and no one is in ear shot, I usually ask them how they are being treated in general.  Most of the time they feel as if they are under appreciated, and abused in general, by those they serve.  I find that to be sad to say the least. 

Today, I walked into a local grocery store out on one of the islands ,and made a bee line for the restrooms.  You have to go through a saloon like wooden split door into a hallway.  On the men’s room and women’s room there is a sign that says something to this affect.  “This restroom only has one stable so please be patient for your turn in the saddle.  If the door is locked it must be in use.”  I tried the men’s room door and it was locked.  I leaned up against the wall, and patiently waited for a gentleman to come out of the men’s room. 

I waited all of 3 minute’s, and the sounds of someone finishing up their business came from the other side of the door.  Seconds later the door opens and I look up and a lady rushes out of the men’s room.    I sort of expected the lady to look a bit embarrassed and to make some sort of effort of being gracious and saying something.  Instead of doing that, she looked at me with a haughty look questioning me as to why I was even looking at her. 

I get it, she needed to go potty.  We have all been there.  I believe that I have even wandered into the ladies room in a rare occasion as my wife stood outside making sure that no one else would try to go in there.  I don’t believe I have ever gone into a ladies room because I was too impatient to wait my turn.  Heck, I have gotten absent minded and walked into a women’s room before, and had to back track my way out of the situation apologizing and turning three shades red. 

I am thinking that no matter what our stature in life or how well we are doing financially or socially, that we should slow down and stop feeling so entitled because of our stature and how we think we deserve to be treated.  How hard is it for us to take a breath and take the feelings of others and their needs above our own?  Are we so focused on our own worlds that we can not see beyond our noses and realize that other people have needs, feelings and expectations too? 

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I am no health expert but I have spent enough time in the medial field as an EMT and a ER tech to know the basics.  EVERYONE must practice good personal hygiene to prevent the catching of, and spreading of germs.  Germs/pathogens is what gets us sick.  I understand that our children must receive an education and that the public school systems have to implement rules that are for the good of everyone involved.  I also believe that rules should not be so iron clad that there is no room for common sense.

For instance, our son came down with Mono, and was sick beyond the allocated number of days that he was allowed to miss in one school year.  A doctors excuse was not good enough for school administrators.  We had to write a letter to the principal advising them that the doctors excuse was not fabricated, and that we did in fact see a medical physician that diagnosed him with mono.

Every single time my son comes home with an ugly cold, it circulates through our entire family which causes us all to make the trip to the doctor for shots, antibiotics, steroids and breathing treatments.  Initially, we wait and try all the over the counter drugs, like NyQuil, Dayquil. Sudafed, Benadryl, before we make the trek to HealthFirst in West Ashley.

I remember a time when a common cold would last me 48 hours to 72 hours, and then it would be gone.  In the last couple of years, I believe that the common cold virus has gotten progressively aggressive and uglier.  Maybe the over use, and abuse of antibiotics over the years, has allowed the virus strains to adapt and are more resistant to treatment.  If you are a medical expert or know more about how this is happening please weigh in on the comments section.

The bottom line is this.  We can help each other out, if we will just follow some common sense practices, with regards to personal hygiene.  I will list a couple below as a reminder.

• cover your mouth and nose when you sneeze ALL THE TIME
• wash your hands BEFORE you touch something in the kitchen
• Use HOT water and SOAP when cleaning the dishes and pots and pans
• wash your hands with SOAP and HOT water AFTER you use the restroom
• do NOT shake hands or get close to other people if you KNOW you are sick
• ENCOURAGE other people who ARE sick NOT to touch you or loved ones.  (do it in a loving but firm manner)
• Do NOT share straws or drinking glasses with someone if they are sick
• Do NOT put your hands up to your face after touching a door handle or elevator hand rail or elevator button.  If you can touch it IT can have germs that will possibly get you sick
• keep hand sanitizer with you at work and use it OFTEN.  If you wind up touching office equipment that other people touch, USE the hand sanitizer, or wash your hands on a regular basis.  If others can touch it they can leave a nasty surprise for you.

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The quarterback of the Denver Broncos has garnered attention, because of his faith, and that has been linked to the season’s success that the Denver Broncos has enjoyed this season thus far.  The Denver Broncos suffered a loss in their last game and Bill Maher took it upon himself to use this as an opportunity to tweet something inflammatory. 

While I do not appreciate the comments that were  made, I also understand that I can expect that sort of behavior from this individual.  Bill Maher openly disregards, and makes fun of those, who profess faith in Jesus Christ.  There is nothing new about this, Bill Maher just happens to have the ear of the liberal media outlets, that give him a global audience in which to spout his garbage. 

I watched Pier Morgan of CNN interview Joel and Victoria Osteen last night.  Pier Morgan spent the duration of the interview, trying to pin Joel Osteen down and get him to take a definitive stand on several inflammatory social issues, such as abortion, capital punishment and homosexuality.  Joel Osteen did a good job of not getting pressured into making any type of statement, that would be construed as an official statement of Lakewood church or Christianity in general.   Joel Osteen is labeled as the pastor of a mega church in Houston Texas, and therefore is someone that has a lot of influence over a lot of people. 

Joel Osteen did reiterate his belief that homosexuality is a sin.  He did not back down or apologize for scripture.  He stated that he based his belief that homosexuality is a sin, because of what the scripture states.  What Joel Osteen failed to say was that God loves all people and despises ALL SIN.  Joel and Victoria Osteen stated that while they thought that homosexuality is a sin, that they would not have a problem attending a same sex wedding, IF the people involved were dear to their hearts.

I believe that the Bible says we are to love the person and hate the sin.  The bible also says that if someone is openly living in sin, and has no remorse, or does not show a repentant heart, that we are to break fellowship with them.  In other words, it is our duty to love them, and to show them what the bible says about their behavior.  If they repent of the sin, and turn away from it, then we can have fellowship with them.  If they do not repent and reject the counsel of God’s word then we are not to continue to be in fellowship with them. 

I realize that blogging about religion and politics is not going to make me a popular person.  Most folks shy away from those topics because they are so polarized and emotionally charged.  We believe what we believe, and some folks say that these topics are too personal and private to be discussed in an open forum.  I totally respect those people who tell me that they do not want to discuss these topics no matter what the reason is. 

What I take issue with is people who use social media portals in order to make fun of folks who have faith in Christ or mock God with their statements.  I also take issue with people of faith who use the same social media portals to openly attack people and wish them ill will or tell them that they do not deserve Jesus.  When people of faith make that kind of statement they are doing more damage to faith in Christ. 

Lets get this straight folks. None of us deserve Jesus.  What did Jesus bring to the world?  Jesus died on the cross for the sins of man for all time.  Grace is the gift that God gave to mankind through his son Jesus.  No one deserves that grace, but it was freely given for all.  Instead of attacking people who do not agree with our faith in Christ, we should agreeably disagree with their opinions, but respect the person.  If we are Christ followers, then we should act like Christ followers.  If we are Christ followers then we will show the fruit of the spirit that Galatians 5 speaks of. 

Please stop using social media to openly attack people who do not agree with your faith in Christ.  Use social media to engage those people in a mutually respectful manner, that will open up a dialog to discuss our faith in Christ.  No matter what be ready to agreeably disagree with those we chose not to believe in the way you believe. 

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We moved from Johns Island to West Ashley a year and a half ago, and we were driving back and forth to Goose Creek, to attend Grace Fellowship Church where we have attended for over 11 years.  We will always be a part of Grace Fellowship Church, and while we plan on visiting from time to time, we needed to find a church home closer to where we live, where we can get involved and be committed to on a regular basis. 

If you are not doing anything special for Christmas eve, Katy and I would love to invite you to join us as we attend the special Christmas celebration.  From what we have experienced in the last two months at Coastal, this will be a special Christmas celebration that you will not want to miss.  Coastal Community Church is a vibrant church family, that meets regularly every Sunday at 9:30 am, 11:15 am and 6 pm.  After the 6 pm service supper is served in the fellowship hall.  That gives you a chance to eat some good food, and meet some of the other members. 

Pastor Chris Rollins kicked off the Christmas Classic series on December 4th, so if you can attend on any Sunday in December I know you will be blessed to hear this series. 

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·         I chose to be mentally prepared to protect myself, and my family. 

·         I chose to do whatever it takes so that we will not become victims

Remember that our goal is to be safe as individuals and as families.  We want to know that in case of an emergency, where our safety is threatened, we can act in such a way to escape the threat, or repel that threat.  

The first step towards being prepared is to prepare my mind.  I must look deep within myself and make a commitment to do whatever it takes to keep myself and my family safe should the need arise.

 I am writing this from the perspective of a husband and a father.  You may be viewing this from the perspective of a single person or a mother with young children.    No matter what angle you are coming from you need to be willing to count the cost.  

In order for me to be mentally prepared to protect myself, I must be mentally aware.   I need to be paying attention to my environment, and I must be in condition yellow at all times.  What does condition yellow mean?  It means that I am scanning my surroundings looking for threats at all times.  I am on the lookout for threats that can cause harm.   Being mentally prepared, means that I am in a state of awareness that will enable me to act in case of an emergency.  

When I am mentally aware of my environment and I have made the decision to protect myself and loved ones I am putting myself in an optimal situation.   I will be better prepared to consider all my options and make a good decision.  To be mentally aware means that I am not walking around with my head in the clouds or being distracted by my iPhone, iPod, MP3 player or some other electronic gizmo.  My head will not be down and I will not be so focused on my gadgets that I fail to see danger approaching.  

It is very important that you are confident in your ability to make the right decisions and that you equip yourself so that you can act in such a way to either escape a threat or repel the threat.   Criminals know what they are looking for in a victim.  They walk around looking for folks that are distracted and not paying attention to their surroundings.  They look for easy targets to hit.  They look for someone that they believe they can overpower easily and do what it is they plan on doing.  

Your mental awareness and body language go hand in hand.  Paying attention to those around you and giving them eye contact will let them know that you are not going to be a victim.  You are aware of their presence and you are prepared to act. This does not mean that you will never be attacked; but it does mean that your attacker will not be able to take you by surprise.  

Being mentally aware also means that you understand the different types of dangers in your environment and that you have purposely considered your ability to escape or repel a threat.  Have you ever heard of being in the wrong place at the wrong time?  Being mentally prepared means that you think about what you are going to do before you do it.  We must think about the consequences of our actions before we commit to them.  If I find myself in this situation what will happen if I do this or that? 

Personal defense scenario at home:

One evening you come home after work and you drive up in your driveway.  You start to get out of your vehicle but you notice a stranger on the sidewalk and they are approaching you.  You do not know the person and now you are nervous that they might not have the best of intentions.   What are some of the things that are going through you mind? 

·         Who is this person?

·         Could this be a sales person?

·         Why is this person on my property?

·         How is this person acting towards me? 

·         Am I expecting someone?

·         Is anyone home that can help me?

·         If this person becomes aggressive towards me what will I do?

·         Where is my cell phone? 

·         Should I yell for help?

·         Do I feel threatened or am I being overtly paranoid? 

If you are mentally prepared you will have already worked through this type of scenario in your mind before it ever happens in real life.  As you can see, when something happens you have to quickly assess your environment and all of the variables so that you can either escape or repel a threat.  That means that you have to act decisively. 

How would I process my environment in this scenario? 

·         How far is this person from me once I notice them?

·         Is the person visibly aggressive or passive in their body language?

·         Can I see their hands or are they wearing bulky clothing that could hide a weapon?

·         Are they the only unknown or are their multiple threats?

·         What is my gut instinct telling me? Do I feel threatened?

I will need to process my environment and make a decision within 60 seconds so that I can ACT one way or the other.  I may choose to get back into my vehicle, lock the doors and call the police. I may decide to back out of the driveway and go to a neighbor’s house and ask them for assistance.  If the person is threatening me and I am in fear of serious bodily injury or death, and I am carrying a concealed weapon, I can announce my intention to use deadly force to protect myself. 

The closer that the person gets to me the shorter amount of time I will have to react and my options for escape will diminish quickly.  I heard the other day that the FBI put together a 333 rule.  Most shootings happen within 30 feet within 3 seconds and 3 shots are fired.  I will leave it to you to do the research on how correct that statistic is but I can assure you that when things happen they do not happen in slow motion like in the movies. 

How many times do we do things repetitiously?  We leave, we go to our different destinations and most of the time we take the same route over and over again.  We become comfortable in our routine, and if we are not careful that routine could give us a false sense of security.  Years ago, when I was in law enforcement the number one killer of police officers was routine traffic stops.  They key word here is routine.  There is no such thing as a routine traffic stop.  The moment something becomes routine, that is when you can become the victim of a crime. 

In the next article we can look closer at the environment and how to identify different threats to us as individuals and families.  How well we plan for threats to ourselves, and our families will determine whether or not we will become a victim.    

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