When we moved to West Ashley, we did not know much about this part of Charleston.  One day I decided I needed some “me time”, and I decided to explore our neighborhood.  That included driving to the end of Wappoo Rd just to see what is there.  That is where I discovered “My Happy Place”.  I discovered that this place was called “My Happy Place”, because of my check in on FourSquare.  For those of you that might not know, FourSquare is a location based GPS app, that you can install on your iPad or iPhone, that allows you to share your travels with others.  As I checked in there, I looked around and understood why someone named it that.

It is good to have a peaceful place to go, where you can by by yourself, or with a loved one.  Katy and I often get lunch, and then drive over to this location, and sit by the water and enjoy the sights and sounds of nature.  It is good to listen to the water lapping up against the rocks, and to visit with the occasional seagull or blackbird that comes close to the vehicle, looking for a free hand out. I have found that it is important to find a “Happy Place” where you can find peace and solitude and become one with nature.  Life is too full of tasks and goals that consume all of our time.  

Where is your Happy Place?  Where do you go to enjoy “me time”?  Do you go there by yourself or do you share it with a loved one? 

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There is a lot of talk on TV and social media about New Years resolutions.  It is a known fact that most folks who make New Years resolutions have a very difficult time keeping those resolutions during the new year.  One New Years resolution is to lose those extra pounds that we packed on as we gorged ourselves during the holidays.  Gym memberships go up and folks make an effort to work out.  I am ahead of the curve on this one folks.  I did not gorge myself during the holidays and I was sick and lost weight.  That was one positive thing about being sick.  My short term goal is to lose 1 lb per week and I am hopeful that I can meet or exceed that goal. 

In 2012 I plan on continuing my healthy living goals which are very simple.  I plan on eating meal choices that are healthier for me.  I also want to work on burning more calories than I consume.  That means that I need to continue down the path of going to Planet Fitness on a regular basis.  I would like to see myself going to Planet Fitness every day and getting a minimum of 30 minutes of aerobic exercise.  Aerobic exercise is where I will begin to burn fat cells at an increased rate. 

In 2012 I plan on being less critical of myself.  I plan on living one day at a time and do the best I can with what I have.  I am my own worse critic, and boy do I love to judge myself, and remember those stupid mistakes from the past.  There is nothing I can do about the past, other than to learn from those mistakes and move on. 

In 2012 I plan on reducing my consumption of social media.  If I were honest with myself, I would have to say that I am a technology junkie (addict).  Technology to me is like mind candy, and I can not get enough of it.  I love social media, and having the ability to make personal connections with different people, via the many social media apps online.  I have an account with Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, Google Plus, LinkedIN and many more.  My goal is to reduce how much time I spend on the different social media portals.  As I have been consumed with social media, I have gotten caught up in mindlessly wandering through multiple social media streams of endless content. 

In 2012 I want to help others, become more aware for their need for personal and family defense preparedness.  I have begun to work on a series of articles that take a no nonsense approach, to what personal and family defense preparation is and is not.  I want to find a balance between preparing for the end of the world as we know it, and the belief that crime happens to other people.  My goal is to help people to be better prepared to keep themselves and their families safe in the world we live in through common sense solutions. 

In 2012 I want to be a better husband to my wife of 21 years and father to my children.  I want to be more thoughtful, compassionate and loving.  I want to be a better Christ follower and someone that gives of myself back to the community.  I want to be a better friend that brings value to the lives of others.  I want to continue to be an encourager to those that need encouragement.   I want to be a man of integrity, courage and compassion. 

Dear readers, what are your goals for 2012?  Do you share some of my goals or are they very different than mine?  How can we help one another to be who we want to be?  I look forward to your comments. 

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The  year 2011 is almost over and now we have arrived at Thanksgiving Day.  The day that everyone seems to slow down and reflect upon the true meaning of the day.  Like most folks I am very thankful for many things.  The most important thing that I am thankful for the grace of God through Jesus Christ.   

In the New Testament of the Bible John 3:16 says “ For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” 

I am thankful that I do not have to be good enough for God to love me.  I am thankful that Gods’ love for me is so powerful that He went out of His way to provide all of us with a path for forgiveness that only He can provide.  The path to forgiveness of sins is called Grace.  At Grace Fellowship Church in Goose Creek Grace is defined as “God’s Riches at Christ’s Expense.”   We will never fully understand the depth and breadth of God’s love on this side of eternity. 

I will never forget the day that I met Christ on a personal level.  The day that Christ revealed His immense love for me, and His desire to forgive me of my sins, and give me a new purpose and meaning to live life for.  I am thankful that God surrounded me with loving friends, that understood the importance of God’s Grace and that they led me to the cross.  

It is at the cross that I first saw the light of Gods love in my life. 

I will never forget the intense feeling of love and acceptance that I felt as I knelt in the woods and asked God to forgive me of my sins, and to enter into my heart.  It was as if the burdens of the world were lifted off my shoulders and I had a brand new lease on life.  I was at the crossroads of a new beginning.  I remember running home with tears of joy in my eyes as I realized that God is real and that he did love me. 

I remember facing my parents on that day and telling them that I had been saved.  Their question to me was “saved from what drowning”?   My parents were unable to understand the transformation that had happened in my heart at the age of 17 because they were not able to recognize the light of God’s love yet.  

I am thankful that God set me free from the burden of sin in my life but he also put my feet on a new path.  I am thankful that God gave me a new found adventure of pursuing Him, and learning how to become a child of the kingdom of God.  I am thankful that God filled me with the power of his Holy Spirit that would enable me to live a life of obedience to His word.  

I am thankful that I have a loving God that forgives me of my sin when I do screw up and that I can start every day anew.   I am thankful that the love of God is just as abundant today as it was 2000 years ago and that if you open your mind and heart to it that you too can receive that amazing Grace.  

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If you are still reading this series I can only hope that I have brought you to the point where you are seriously thinking about the need to have a Personal and Family defense plan.  In part two of this series, I underlined the importance of recognizing that a crisis can happen to you or your family, at any given time.

I used a movie clip from the movie Under Siege Dark Territory as an example of how trained mercenaries were making a bad assumption.  They were assuming that the cook (Steven Segal) was dead and no longer a threat.  One of our readers of this series reminded me of another excellent quote from this movie. 

Chance favors a prepared mind 

I would encourage you to read that statement a couple of times and really meditate on its meaning.  In the first article, I mentioned how we plan for all sorts of life long contingencies.  We make plans for the future.  We plan for financial wellbeing, our health, retirement, children’s college funds and savings.  The list goes on.  In every one of these instances, we identify a need in our life and we set goals and put plans into action so we can meet these goals. 

Let’s say you want to lose 50 lbs.  At some point, you came to the realization that your clothes were not fitting correctly or maybe a health issue has cropped up that got your attention.  In your mind, you realized there is a problem and you decided to deal with it.  At that point, you took control of the problem and formulated a plan to deal with it.  You educated yourself to the best of your ability and you used what you have at your disposal to make the plan work. 

By now I am hopeful that you have come to the realization that if you have not formulated a Personal and Family defense plan that you have placed yourself or your family at risk.  You are assuming nothing can ever happen and if something does happen you will not be prepared and you or your family will become a victim. 

My goal is to awaken you to the fact that there are real threats to your personal safety and to that of your family.  My goal is to encourage you to consider that fact and to plan for the eventuality of it happening.  Does being prepared, mean that you will never have to worry about being threatened?  Being prepared means that if something does happen that you will be better prepared to deal with it and you have increased your ability to survive the threat.

Now that you are thinking about real threats let’s examine some of them.  Threats generally come in two categories. 

Threats against people

·         Physical assault

·         Sexual assault

·         Robbery  

·         Kidnapping

·         Bullying

·         Car jacking

·         Home invasion

·         Terroristic threat

·         Fraud

·         Identity theft

Threats against property

·         Fire

·         flood

·         Inclement weather

·         Home invasion

·         Vandalism

·         Burglary

·         Credit card fraud  

These lists are very general in nature and their purpose is to get you to think about how you and your family, could possibly be threatened.  If you are having a hard time imagining any of these things happening, all you need to do is turn on your local news station and the crime reports can help you fill in the blanks.

Here is another general list of crimes that I know have happened. 

·         Bank robberies

·         Robberies of all types of businesses

·         Robberies of individuals in mall parking lots

·         Robberies of individuals at ATM machines

·         Robberies of delivery drivers

·         Sexual assault in parks

·         Kidnapping

·         Automobile theft

·         Domestic violence

·         Drug deals going bad and people getting shot or stabbed

·         Aggravated robberies of individuals using a deadly weapon

If you remember in my last article, I mentioned a dear friend of mine, and a question he posed to me.  He stated that his father had never owned a firearm for as long as he could remember.  He told me that he has never owned a firearm nor has he ever had the need for one.  After all this time, why would he need to purchase a firearm now? 

My friend made this comment right after he found out that I had taken a state required course, that would allow me to carry a concealed weapon.  The context of our conversation related to my personal choice to carry a concealed weapon.  My answer to his question is simple.  Violent crime against property and individuals has been on the rise for decades. I chose to be mentally prepared to protect myself, and my family.  I chose to do whatever it takes so that we will not become victims.   

I remember a time when you could leave the keys to your vehicle in the ignition and not worry about someone stealing it from you.  I remember a time when you could go to bed at night and leave your doors and windows open and unlocked.  You did not have to worry about someone coming into your house and stealing from you or harming your wife or children.  Sadly enough those times are long gone.  We can no longer afford to do these things and if we do we are opening up ourselves to becoming victims to those people who would perpetrate those types of crimes. 

Remember that our goal is to be safe as individuals and as families.  We want to know that in case of an emergency, where our safety is threatened, we can act in such a way as to escape the threat, or repel that threat. 

In the next article I will begin to dig in to the basics of being prepared and putting together a Personal and Family defense plan. 

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Katy and I went to see the movie Courageous last week.  This movie is very powerful and thought provoking.  I am hoping that every father or husband that is able to see this movie, will go to see it.  Yes, this is a faith based film.  I know that might turn some folks off.  Even if you are not someone who subscribes to a faith in Jesus Christ, I still believe that this movie is powerful enough to speak to your heart. 

I believe that a family is made up of a man, woman and children.  I believe that a marriage is made up of a man and woman.  I believe that God ordained this into existence and despite the efforts of some, it is still the truth.  I believe that children need both a father and a mother in that family.  I believe that both roles are equally important.  I believe that fathers and mothers are uniquely equipped to fulfill the role they are in.  I believe that children need both fathers and mothers in that family actively engaged in their specific parenting role. 

This movie points out some startling statistics.  These statistics illuminate the fact that children who grow up in fatherless homes or absentee fathers are more likely to make poor life choices, and wind up in trouble when they become adults.   The movie points out the fact that it is much easer to have children, than it is to be a real man, who engages his responsibilities as a father. That means that men need to be the spiritual leaders in their homes.  So many of us guys have been taught, that once we provide a place to live and provide food for the family that our jobs are done. 

It takes courage for a man to realize the need, his wife and children have of him, and to be responsible enough to provide that type of leadership in the home.  I have been a father to four children and I can attest to the fact that it is not an easy job.  Parenting requires courage, stamina and prayer.  Parenting is not for the feint of heart.  Parenting is a huge responsibility that can not, and should not be taken lightly.  Parenting requires a life time commitment.  Despite what some of us dad’s may think, parenting does not end when the children turn 18 and strike it out on their own.  In this economy, more and more children that are 18 to 25 are staying home because they can not afford to be on their own. 

Depending on the type of earthly father that you have had in your formative years, you may, or may not be, better equipped to be the type of father and husband your family desperately needs.  As I look back on my childhood I realize that while my father always provided for our physical needs he was absent spiritually and emotionally.  I was not raised in a faith based home, nor did I receive the kind of solid foundation that would provide.  As a father to my children, I have had to ignore how my father raised me, and I had to look for my own spiritual leaders and mentors from which to learn parenting skills from.  James Dobson has been one of the resources that I have listened to over the years. The bible also speaks to the role of a father and mother in the home.

No matter our situation, or how bad our childhoods might have been, there is hope.  Our hope rests in our faith in who Christ is in our lives.  Our hope rests in the fact that we can undo the chains of sin in our lives, and we can look to a heavenly father that will forgive us of our sins, wash us off and give us a new purpose.  Before we can be courageous as fathers and husbands in our homes, we need to quit playing games with God, and get down to business.  Our vertical relationship with our creator needs some repair, before we can ever hope to get our horizontal relationships with others where they need to be. 

I can hear some of you men reacting to this, as I write it.  OH COME ON NOW MAN, who do you think you are talking to anyway?  I do the best I can with what I have been given.  I know you are thinking these thoughts, because I too have those thoughts.  I do believe that most of us love our families, and want the very best for them.  I also believe that we can be better fathers and husbands.  I  believe that our families NEED for us to be better than mediocre husbands and fathers, who are just sliding by.  They need for us to love them, like Christ loves the church.  They need for us to serve them selflessly and to be willing to sacrifice ourselves for them. 

This is a challenge to YOU, fathers and husbands.  Please join me and many other men who want to know how to be courageous.  Watch the movie and let it speak to your heart.  Use this movie as a tool in which to retool the most important relationships of your life.  Your relationship with God, wife and children are the most important relationships you will ever have.  I believe that you will find that your family will respond to you, in a positive way, as you renew your commitments to them to be the best husband and father that you can be. 

Will you join me?  How can we help each other?  Tell me what you are doing today to be more courageous in your homes men. 

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I suppose that my daughter is taking part in this peaceful protest should not come as a surprise.  Back in the day, I was involved in several peaceful demonstrations, that were held outside of several abortion clinics in Houston Texas.   While I did see some immediate and visible results from the demonstrations I went to, I am not sure if we will see any immediate, or visible results come out of the “Occupy” events. 

The Post and Courier, a local newspaper, has an interesting article in today’s newspaper, and  online, about Occupy Charleston.  I like what a person named Armstrong that was quoted as saying. “ I do have a job and I am working, but I’m for “we the people”.   I suppose that those of us that are working and need to keep our jobs, will have to focus more on our jobs and less on the demonstration.  That does not mean that we can not participate in our personal time.  I am wondering if the degree of participation is being directly fueled by whether or not folks are employed. 

I like what State Rep. Wendell Gilliard, D-Charleston said in this article.  “You have to set your course”.  It appears that this event is not being well organized, and there are some differences in opinion amongst the protestors.  I am hoping that future events will be better planned and organized. 

The 99 hour demonstration will come and go.  People will have the opportunity to speak out and say “we are mad as hell and we are not going to take it any longer”.  My question is, what is next?  Other than gain some local media attention what is this demonstration going to solve in the long term?   Where do we go from here?  What is it going to cost and are we willing to sacrifice our comfort zones to take the next step?  What is the next step? 

Do you have any of the answers dear readers?  If so, I would love to hear them. 

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Katy and I decided that we would rather spend the weekend together and took off on a road trip to the Upstate of South Carolina.  This was my first opportunity to take advantage of the ResortQuest-Wyndham associate travel discounts.  The Wingate- by Wyndham is a very nice hotel and I am glad we were able to get a room.  We have no idea what we are going to do tomorrow but we are planning on relaxing and doing whatever we want to do.  It will be nice to spend some time alone with one another without the teenagers and all of the pets for a change.  We have not had an opportunity to do this in a very long time. 

As with most travel plans that are as spontaneous as this trip we always wind up forgetting something.  I forgot the AC adapter for my HP ProBook 4520 and Katy forgot the fan that produces the white noise I need to go to sleep.  Luckily for me Katy has an HP laptop and her AC adapter is charging the battery on my laptop and we have a room AC/Heater that makes plenty of white noise so I will get some sleep tonight. 

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I suppose that everyone has their opinion with regards to “gays in the military”.  Most of my conservative Christian friends are going to sit on the side of the fence that would support “don’t ask don’t tell”.   In some ways I understand where they are coming from however it is not going to change the fact that there are people all around us that believe in same sex relations and marriage.  I am not sure that lifting the “Don’t ask Don’t tell” ban is going to change anything.  There are “gay” people in the military now and probably have been for decades.   Does this ban make them “more gay” or “less gay”?   I for one wish that we could stop labeling people.   I am speaking to both “gay” people and those of the heterosexual persuasion.

I vote that we let people be who they are and if they chose to participate in a same sex relationship then that is their business. Someone being same sex oriented is not going to change my identity or threaten what I believe or who I am.  Each one of us has to live our lives in the best way that we see fit and we also must own our own garbage.   Many of us would like to think that we have everything figured out with regards to what sin is or is not. My pastor has pointed out the fact that while people are going out of their way to be “homophobes”  the church is filled with people who are openly practicing sin with regards to being adulterers, liars. fornicators and getting divorces from their opposite sex mates because of it.  We probably need to clean up the filth (sin) and garbage out of our own back yards before we start pointing fingers.

I personally do not believe that being “gay” and participating in same sex relationships is something that God would approve of.   I could point to several scriptures in the old testament and new testament that would lend credence to my belief.  I also believe that the bible tells us that we are to love our neighbor and that we are not to judge people.  God will be the only judge when it is said and done with and all of us will come face to face with our creator once we die.   Yes, I believe the bible clearly states that we have a season of life and once that season of life is over we are judged for what we have or have not done on this earth.   Our life is a gift and it should not be taken for granted and what we do with that life can and will be measured by our creator.

I have a son that I love dearly that openly communicates that he is gay.  I also have a blood sister that openly communicates that she is gay.  Despite the fact that they are gay they are still my family and I will always love them.   Their choice to be gay is just that, their choice.  Do I agree with that choice or do I want to expose my family to these types of choices on a daily basis?  The answer to those questions are absolutely not.    I firmly believe that what folks do in the privacy of their own homes is between themselves and God.   I also believe that if a group of people are going to push their way of life upon another group of people in public places then they should understand that not everyone is going to approve of it and they will meet some resistance.

  Copyright secured by Digiprove © 2010 James Moffitt

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I have spent some time reflecting on 2010 and all the things that have happened in the world around us as well as those things we have experienced as a family and individually.   This has not been a horrible year however it has had its shares of ups and downs.  The economic downturn between 2008 and now has affected us more than I would like to admit.   Like it or not 2010 is almost gone and we have a new year to look forward to in 2011.  

As I look back at 2010 I realize that I have allowed my circumstances to get way too much of my attention.  As I have focused on our circumstances I have found myself doing everything I can to control things and fix things on my own.  I am not sure why I insist of being in control of my life when I know that I am not in control no matter how much I want to be.  My inability to control some of our circumstances has allowed me to become somewhat negative and grouchy which has not been a good thing for me or my family.

Going forward I want to get back to basics and to spend more time in personal devotions each day.  I want to begin reading the word of God again and to take my time each day and dedicate myself to renewing my mind and building my faith in who God is to me personally.  

I am using YouVersion to follow a reading plan that I found which will give me one chapter a day to read.  I believe by doing this that I can slowly but surely be encouraged in my faith and be able to start focusing my gaze upon those things that are worthy of focusing on and leave the rest of the negative garbage to God who is better able to handle those things. 

I set up a YouVersion Group for those of you that are like minded and would like to join me in this journey as well.  I am new to YouVersion so I am not really sure what I will be able to do with the group.  I just figured I would set it up and learn as I go.  If you create a free membership on YouVersion you can Follow me and you can add me as a friend.  You can also follow my notes as I make them.  Please understand that my NOTES will be a reflection or journal of what I glean from my bible reading.

Some would say that this could be categorized as a new year resolution.  I would say that I have never had much luck at new year resolutions however I am going to do my best to dedicate myself to getting back to doing those basic things that I have done in the past with regards to my walk with God.  I know that there will be days that I will slip and fall but I believe that if I put my mind to this and if I pray and ask God for the strength and focus to do it that he will give me the help that I need.  

  Copyright secured by Digiprove © 2010 James Moffitt

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