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When will I learn ?

I am constantly reminded that I am much more interested in being a friend to people who obviously are not my friends but just casual acquaintances. Just recently people whom I thought were my friends got married and they never invited me or my wife to come. I thought that we were friends of the family and I have gone out of my way to be a friend by showing concern and investing emotional energy to do so.

My desire to be a friend out weighed common sense. I was talking to someone the other night via IM and discussed the details of what has been going on and they told me that they did not believe that the folks that I thought were friends really were not. I guess I was living in denial but now that I realize that these folks are really not friends I must move on. I can count my true friends on one hand. They are friends because they accept me for who I am. They take the bad with the good and they do not try to change me into their perception of who I should be. They encourage me when I am down and admonish me when I need to be admonished. My real friends challenge me to take the next step and to do better despite my history of failure. I have this crazy desire to make deep connections with people and be a friend. I am the eternal optimist and think that everyone else wants to make those types of connections when in fact most folks only want to make a superficial connection. Making superficial casual connections does not require any emotional or intellectual investment on their part. I am trying to wrap my head around this fact and move on with life and leave those wishy washy so called friends in my wake. That is not easy for me to do but I must stop wasting emotional energy into relationships that really do not exist anyway.

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