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What happened to modesty and consideration ?

Despite what you may think, I am not a prude.  I guess I have an unrealistic expectation of my fellow man when it comes to being considerate and showing some modesty in public.

Katy and I live in a nice gated community.  Please let me highlight the word community.  One definition of community is as follows.

“A group of people living in the same locality and under the same government”

In this gated community we all sign a lease and we live under the rules that are set out in that lease.  As members of this community I would like to think that we will be aware of how our actions affect other community members.  This is where being considerate of others comes in. Unfortunately there are those people who live in a community who are not considerate of others but are inconsiderate. Here is the definition for inconsiderate.

Thoughtless of others; displaying a lack of consideration.

Living in a gated community some inconsiderate activities include the following

  • playing music as loud as we want
  • throwing trash on the ground or in the parking lots
  • ignoring reserved parking signs and rules
  • having loud parties until 2 am in the morning
  • talking loudly in common areas
  • racing your motorcycle or car engines when you feel like it
  • allowing your car alarm to go off for a long period of time
  • not picking up your pets poop

I was taught at an early age to think about what I do before I do it.  How is it going to affect my fellow man?  Is it going to be viewed as offensive by them?  How would you feel if someone else were doing the very same thing?  I was taught to be objective and to try and put myself in the other person’s place before I make a decision on what to do.

We all see acts of kindness and acts of inconsideration in the world around us.  People have the power to decide how they want to act around others.  Sometimes people are inconsiderate around others because they did not have the benefit of being taught better by their parents.  Maybe some people just do not play well around others and like to show their proverbial behinds when they are in public.  I was taught that saying thank you, excuse me, and have a nice day were words that conveyed respect and honor to those around us.

Last but not least lets examine the word modesty and how it applies to every day living.

  • having or showing a moderate or humble estimate of one’s merits, importance, etc.; free from vanity, egotism, boastfulness, or great pretensions.
  • having or showing regard for the decencies of behavior, speech, dress, etc.; decent:

Living in a gated community, especially during the hot summer months, reminds me of the total lack of modesty when it comes to swim wear. This is where the “my not being a prude” comes in to play.  I do appreciate the physique of the opposite sex very much.  God wired us guys to like and appreciate the way a woman appears physically. It seems to me that we live in a hyper sexual world and that when it comes to swim attire at the pool anything goes.  The more revealing it is, the better it is.  In other words, some women leave nothing to the imagination when they go to the pool.  It does not seem to matter if they are in the pool or out of the pool either.

Here is what blows my mind.  If a woman catches you looking you are considered a perv.  Here is another thing that blows my mind.  Men apparently like for their girlfriends or wives to be scantily attired out in public.  It is almost as if they are showing off their trophies.  On occasion I have seen some women who make it a point to cover themselves up a little bit when they get out of the pool.  That is because they are exercising a measure of modesty and perhaps do not want to encourage the opposite sex to drown in their own drool.

I am thinking that in order for me to avoid the overtly displayed eye candy I am probably going to need to walk around the outside of the pool area on the way to the mailbox and not cut through the pool area to get there.  There is no sense in my torturing myself and viewing more than I should be viewing.  Doing that would honor my wife and keep me out of trouble.

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