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Fighting obesity 2014 and l lost the fight.

Today is December 28, 2014 and I am morbidly obese. There is no sense sugar coating the obvious. On Monday December 22nd I got on the scales and weighed in at a whopping 380 lbs. I became angry for a good reason. In 2014 I had hoped that the digits on the scale would be moving in the opposite direction.

I remember telling someone on social media how my goal was to lose 50 lbs this year. Instead of losing 50 lbs I gained 50 lbs. All of the hard work that I had done in order to lose weight in 2013 was gone. Now I am worse off than I was in 2013 and I am living with the consequences of obesity.

Here are some of the consequences

  • Very little energy
  • No flexibility
  • Blood pressure issues
  • Low self-image
  • Low self confidence
  • Generally feeling like crap
  • Always feeling guilty about eating
  • Clothing that does not fit right if at all

Instead of feeling sorry for myself, or slipping into depression about my situation, I decided to become angry with myself. Here are some things I am angry about.

  • Eating food that is known to pack on the pounds
  • Poor food choices
  • Giving in to depression about how I look
  • Emotional eating
  • Not sticking with an exercise routine
  • Not drinking enough water
  • Drinking too many diet sodas
  • Snacking too much late at night
  • Visiting fast food restaurants too much

What I need is a change of attitude. I need to switch emotions from self-pity and depression to anger and determination. If I expect a change to occur in my situation then I must be willing to make changes in my life. Positive changes that will benefit me both in the near future but pay dividends in the long run. I realize that if I do not lose a lot of this excess blubber then I am a candidate for a stroke, heart attack or both.

My wife and I both have friends and friends of friends who have had heart attacks just this month. Most of these folks are in their 50’s like us. I cannot speak to their lifestyle or eating habits because I do not know them. I just know that these events are like warning signs to me to do something. I must do everything within my power to lose weight.

So, knowing all of this, what will I do? I am going to take baby steps and make some immediate changes. Doing these things has enabled me to drop 8.5 pounds just this week.

  • Limit myself to one diet drink during supper and no more
  • Drink (8) 8 oz glasses of water
  • Stop eating sweets
  • Stop eating breads
  • Stop snacking late at night
  • If I must eat a snack make sure it is a healthy snack
  • Exercise as much as possible -à walking is good
  • Stop beating myself up
  • Educate myself about food

Having lived with obesity for way too long, I understand the emotional rollercoaster that is involved in gaining weight and then losing weight. Losing weight and then regaining even more. I must break that cycle of madness. I need to remind myself that this is a lifelong problem and it is going to take some time for me to overcome it. You cannot eat an elephant all in one sitting and you certainly cannot lose the elephant all in one sitting either. I have to make good decisions from moment to moment and not give in to emotions. I must remove the temptations from my living areas. I must surround myself with supportive people who will engage me and challenge me to do the right things.

Living with obesity means that my addiction is food. Food is something we all must have to survive. I need to think about food as fuel for living and eat the correct fuel. I need to eat food that will help me burn calories and not store it as fat.

2014 is almost in the books and I lost the battle this year. 2015 is a new year and I plan on making some progress with losing some weight. Will you join me? How can we help one another? Please tell me I am not the only person battling the obesity monster in 2015.

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