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Kristina and Frodo

My daughter shared this photo on Facebook from Instagram and I want to share it with you.  I love my kids.  🙂

 

Kristina and Frodo Moffitt

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2015 reflections

I have to say that 2015 was a fairly rough year for us and we are hopeful that 2016 will be a bit better both on the financial side of things and with regards to health issues. 

Back in September we did a hard reset on our finances and moved out of an apartment we really could not afford. Thanks to a 40% discount we were able to stay at a snow bird rental out on Kiawah Island for three months.  While we were staying on Kiawah Island a friend of mine told me that they have a condo in North Charleston that we could rent if we were interested.  Considering that the rent is 600.00 per month compared to the 1206.00 that we have been paying it was a no brainer.  Our friend did not charge us a security deposit nor did they charge us for December rent.  Needless to say that was a HUGE blessing. 

Now, we are resettled in North Charleston and we are hopeful that we can stay here for quite some time.  Thanks to Katy having dizzy spells and her balance getting worse she has been having problems with falling down.  That means she is not going to be able to work and we are working on getting disability payments started up for her.  We tried to go through the process ourselves which took almost a year and of course it was denied.  Now we are going to have to leverage a lawyer to see about making this happen.  Hopefully the lawyer will have better luck than we did.

After January 1st and our medical benefits debit card has been reloaded we are going to take Katy to her neurologist and have another MRI done to see if her tumor has grown any in the last couple of years and see if that is what is causing her balance issues.  We are hopeful there is something that can be done to improve her mobility and quality of life.

There were not any extra funds for Christmas presents this year but Katy and I were very thankful to have a better place to live in that we can afford.  We are happy to be out of limbo and in a more stable situation.  That, in and of itself was a huge Christmas present for us both. We were able to see our son Justin the other day and eat lunch with him and Katy was able to talk to her dad, sister and brother on the phone for Christmas which she enjoyed. 

We also enjoyed going to the Christmas service at Coastal Community Church in West Ashley and we had several friends invite us over for Christmas dinner which was nice.  All of our relatives are in Texas and it is very difficult for us to afford that trip during the holidays. 

So, now, we look forward to what 2016 has in store for us.  I hope and pray that everyone that reads this has a safe New Years celebration and that 2016 is a prosperous and blessed new year. 

 

 

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Limbo

Kiawah Island SC

We are in limbo with regards to permanent addresses.  We pushed the reset button on our finances and moved out of our apartment in Ladson.  I finally realized that we need to learn how to live on my income alone, and not depend on any sporadic income from Katy and her substitute teaching. This allowed us to stop paying 700.00 worth of living expenses that we were struggling to stay on top of.  We stayed at InTown Suites for two weeks.  I am so glad we are out of that place.  The room was nice but the walls were closing in on us.  The beds we were sleeping on had paper thin mattresses which means that we did not do a lot of sleeping.  We were lucky to sleep for two hours before our backs woke us up.

Fast forward to this weekend, and we are now out on Kiawah Island.  We will be here for three months in a snow bird rental, until we can fix up a condo that we found over by Northwoods Mall.  A friend of mine has this condo and it has been unoccupied for some time.  I will need to do some make ready work in lieu of a security deposit which is fine with me.  The living room needs painting and the linoleum in the kitchen is starting to curl up at the edges.  Hopefully a hot glue gun will fix that problem.  In the 90 days we are here we can take care of our final electric bill so that we can have electric turned on at the new place.  We can also check out Charleston water to make sure we are good to go with them and pay any deposits.  The first thing we will have to do is buy a king size bed.  We are going to want to buy that one new so we will probably go to a Mattress firm outlet and buy it on time.  After that is done we can start going to Goodwill stores and finding a kitchen table with chairs and other items we might need.

So, we are going to rebuild again for the second time. The first time we did this was in August of 1997 when we had a huge yard sale , sold most of our stuff and then loaded the rest of it with our three kids into two cars and headed to Atlanta Georgia.  This rebuild project is going to benefit from the knowledge we gained from our first experience.  Luckily we do not have three small children and we are not traveling from Texas to Georgia.  The good news is that this place is gorgeous and we are coming into the Fall season.  I am looking forward to being close to work.  I can drive to work in less than 10 minutes.  I also plan on getting back into the habit of walking on a regular basis.  We are about 5 minutes from the beach and beautiful nature trails.  We are going to view this as a working vacation.

I am looking forward to taking Willow (our lab and rescue dog) on trips to the beach.  I know she is going to love the water.

What about you dear reader?  Do you have any stories where you feel like you were in limbo and in between places or stages of life?  I would love to hear them.  Be sure to leave a comment.

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Happy Birthday Angel Jessica

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Today our Jessica Ann would be 25 years old.  Jessica is our 2nd oldest child next to Jeremy Moffitt who is 29.  Today is also the 14th anniversary of the World Trade Center twin towers being attacked.  I remember both events as if it were yesterday.  I remember Jessica taking her last breath on August 5th 2001 at approximately 2 am.  I remember telling her that it was ok to quit fighting and to let go.  Jessica Ann slipped from the bonds of her cancer ridden body into the arms of Jesus in that moment.  It is our hope and belief that we will see her again along with other loved ones when we leave this life and move on to the next one.

It has been said that time heals all wounds.  I would say that time allows us the opportunity to learn how to deal with the pain and grief of losing a loved one.  Time gives us a measuring stick for our perception of the pain and feeling of loss that comes with grief.  One does not simply “get over it”.  If you are a friend or family of someone that has lost a loved one please do not make the mistake of expecting them to just “get over it”.  Grief is something that becomes a constant companion.  Over time, the pain does subside and get easier to deal with but it never totally goes away.

Today, my heart goes out to the family and friends of the 3000+ souls that lost their lives in the terrorist attack in New York City on this date in 2011.  Terrorists (aka cowards) hijacked 3 jet liners and intentionally flew them into both of the World Trade Center towers and attempted to fly into the Pentagon.  Someone said that 9/11 is the “Pearl Harbor” of my generation.   I will never forget where we were when this happened.  A neighbor called me and told me to turn on the TV and watch the news.  We sat in our living room and watched in horror as the World Trade Center buildings burned and then collapsed one after the other.  We watched as the second plane hit the second tower while the first one burned.  I remember how surreal it was to watch the 110 floor towers just collapse into the ground while millions of viewers watched in disbelief.

My heart goes out to the families and friends of the public servants who rushed to the scene to help people and ultimately paid the highest price for doing so.  Police officers and fire fighters who were trying to help victims lost their own lives on that horrible day.  This is a day that Americans came face to face with radical Islam and their act of cowardly terror.  I know that the pain of the event was and is intense for most of us.  It would be so easy to categorize all Muslim people as terrorists but I realize that is not fair.  That would be like saying that all Christians are willing to kill innocent people in the name of God.

The problem with terrorism and war is that innocent people including women and children lost their lives.  I guess that our government calls this loss of life as collateral damage.  I do not pretend to fully understand all of this.  I just know that people were going about their day to day business in the World Trade center towers and that it was forever interrupted by a cowardly act by terrorists and now they get to live with the grief.  Our thoughts and prayers go out to the survivors.  May they find some sort of release from their pain and find the courage to go on despite their losses.

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25 years of marriage as of May 12th

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As of May 12th Katy Moffitt and I celebrated 25 years of marriage.  That is right, back in 1990 we stood in a Baptist church in Houston Texas and before God, friends and family we vowed to be husband and wife no matter what.  For better or worse both in sickness and health.  To round out our vows we privately added a coffin clause.  The only way out of this marriage is if you are in your coffin.

Over the last 25 years we have known or seen many different marriages which have wound up in divorce court.  Marriage takes a lot of work, love, tears and commitment.  A commitment to do whatever it takes to make the marriage work.  Marriage takes love, patience, communications and lots of forgiveness.  Despite our best efforts it is almost impossible to change the other person.  When we get married we can easily fall into the trap that if we love someone enough that we can change the person to be who we want them to be. 

Katy and I have faced our fair share of ups and downs.  Some of the challenges that we have faced would have been catastrophic and would have ended most marriages.  I still remember our first premarital marriage counseling sessions.  Katy and I met an older couple out in Sugarland Texas at their home and shared a dinner.  We had a nice chat during dinner and then the genders split up and went to different parts of the house.  After it was all said and done Katy and I were amazed to learn that we would never have a successful marriage. 

The marriage counselors identified some things that were probable pit falls that would prove to be more than we could handle even if we were in love at that time.  Katy comes from a family that had to deal with alcoholism.  I came from a really messed up home life as a child.  I still remember the man stating that he could tell that “ I had been through some pretty rough spots” up until that point.  We were told that because of our past that I would never be willing to be in the relationship for the long haul and that if I did leave Katy she would wind up being an alcoholic. 

I am glad that Katy and I did not buy into that negative crap.  I grant you that these people were older and wiser than us and they could see some potential problems if we had allowed this to happen.  Katy and I discussed those things and decided that together and with the help of God we would be able to overcome them. 

As I look back over the last 25 years I can see several things that have required us to lean on each other and our faith in God in order to remain steadfast to our wedding vows.  I still do not understand how people can weather the storms of life without a faith in God.  I know that some folks do not understand faith and they view those of us with faith as weak people who are in need of some sort of fairy tale figure in our lives to run to when times get tough.  

One of the things that we seem to have always had to deal with are the financial struggles.  Nothing will destroy a marriage faster than financial stress or one or both spouses being unfaithful.  Looking back over the last 25 years I can see that while things have been a bit shaky at times with regards to finances our needs were always met somehow.  We always had a roof over our heads, food to eat and clothes to wear. It did not help that we made some stupid decisions along the way early on.  We suffered from the “I wants”, and decided that we would rather have it now and pay later.  What the credit card industry and marketers do not tell you is that paying later means you will pay dearly for the privilege of having things that you do not need quicker.  Katy always told me that she did not marry me for my money (or lack thereof) and I did not marry her for her cooking skills.  Luckily for us those areas have gotten much better over the years. 

Over the last 25 years we have lived through different seasons.  We lived through the honeymoon stage and entered parenthood with 3 children.  Jessica, Kristina and Justin Moffitt were born to us.  I have a son named Jeremy who was from a previous marriage.  The children went from being toddlers to adolescents to adults in what seems to be the blink of an eye. During this time we experienced the typical things that most families experience with 3 children.  We had our fair share of emergency room visits and hospital scares. 

I remember when we lived in Atlanta Georgia and I worked for Delta Airlines as a contractor.  Justin fell out of a 2 story window and banged his arm and head on the patio.  We rushed him to the ER and we got a lecture from a DSS worker who was concerned that we did not call an ambulance much less let our son fall out of a window.  It is tough to watch your children have to endure pain and suffering and not have the ability to keep them from that. 

I also remember when our Jessica Ann, when she was 10 years old, started to have blinding head aches and other neurological symptoms such as being dizzy and not being able to keep food down.  We found out that she had a baseball sized tumor in her head.  Emergency surgery removed 95% of the tumor but the rest of it that was wrapped around her brain stem would eventually kill her. The doctors gave Jessica Ann 12 months to live and 14 months later she went to heaven. 

I remember sitting at MUSC Childrens hospital with the team of doctors and our pastor.  We were told that she only had one option left but it was harsh and it could possibly kill her quicker than the cancer.  A bone marrow transplant would be performed and she would be in the hospital for 6 weeks while she was isolated from others to keep her from getting infections.  There was no promise that this would work even if we decided to go that direction.  I remember talking to Jessica at the tender age of ten and telling her what the options were.  I remember how she looked and reacted when what we told her sunk in.  She decided that she wanted to go home and not try the bone marrow transplant. 

That 14 months that we lived out as a family back in 2000 and 2001 was the hardest 14 months on our family. I have been told by the medical community that most families that lose a child to cancer typically wind up destroyed and scattered to the winds and in divorce court.  I remember when Jessica Ann died and the funeral director in Goose Creek told me that the statistics showed that we would be divorced within a year.  I remember how angry that made me and I remember telling that man that I rejected that idea.  We would not wind up in divorce court over this.  We would dig in and do whatever we could to survive this event. 

That was 14 years ago in August.   Our family was not destroyed but it certainly was impacted in a negative way.  None of us have been the same since that day we lost our Jessica Ann.  I am proud that Katy and I were able to hold things together and work through all of those things and that our marriage survived despite all odds.  I would also state that this season of our life was probably the one thing that did shake my faith in God down to the very foundation.  

Now we are empty nesters.  Justin lives in downtown Charleston with his girlfriend and Kristina lives in Oregon.  I guess you could say that we are in the last season of our lives.  We are sliding into our golden years and second childhood.  We are both in our 50’s and while we would like to think that we are in our middle years neither of us expect to live another 50 years.  I suppose that none of us know when our lives will end.  We have to live our lives one day at a time and leave all of the eternal issues up to our God and creator who created us and the world we live in. 

I am so very blessed to be married to my Gizmo.  Katy has been my best friend for the last 25 years. I remember sitting at First Baptist church in Houston Texas and telling Katy that we would only be friends.  I remember how that made her cry.  I guess that God had shown her that I was her husband before he told me.  I remember saying that I would never marry again until I saw a burning bush in the middle of I-10 at noon time.  Apparently there was a burning bush (or car) at some point because Katy chased my heart down and captured it.  There have been no regrets and no looking back.  I am glad that I am married to my Katy and I am looking forward to us growing old together. 

I am a better man because of Katy.  Katy has always been the most selfless person I have ever known.  Katy is also the most faithful person I know with regards to her faith in God.  Katy has a quiet faith that is very strong.   Katy has always believed in me even when I did not believe in myself.  Katy has taught me how to be more selfless and more loving of other people.   I really am not sure how she has put up with me for all of these years but she has.  I believe that makes her a saint.

 

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5 Things I will teach my boys about pornography – Daily Positive

I read this and I have to agree.  I hope that people read this article and take it to heart.  Pornography is a billion dollar industry and it is destroying families.  You can read the article Daily Positive .

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Reblog from Mothers and Words Blog on Smashing our Fears

I received the following link in e-mail this morning and wanted to share it with you.  Smashing our Fears is something that reminds us of how important it is to deal with our fears.   I would encourage you to subscribe to Mothers and Words Blog as well.

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Let’s be thankful

I turned 53 years old today.  🙂  In the grand scheme of things, I am glad that I am still alive and able to type this blog post.  🙂

Today is Thanks Giving day and I am also celebrating my birthday.  I went for a walk with my our dog Willow, and took that opportunity to be prayerfully thankful.  I want to list some of the things I am thankful for below.

  • Being alive
  • The Grace of God that provides salvation to all mankind
  • my acceptance of Grace many years ago
  • how God, through his mercy has picked me up, dusted me off and given my life new purpose and meaning
  • being relatively healthy
  • my loving wife Katy
  • my children, Justin, Kristina, Jeremy and Jessica
  • living in America and being free
  • my job
  • our church family  Coastal Community Church and Grace Fellowship Church
  • our Lab Willow who was a rescue dog
  • all of my extended family

I suppose that the older I get the more opportunities that I get to reflect on my life.  Where am I going and where have I come from?  Do I measure up?  Do I believe that I am as successful as I could be?  Am I satisfied with what I see in the mirror?  How many regrets do I have?

I figure that I am not alone with some of the questions above.  As I prayed today I asked God to give me the ability not to compare myself with other people.  It would be easy to compare myself with others that are much more successful than I am and feel like a failure.  On the flip side of that I could also find folks to compare myself with that would make me feel like a great success.  The Bible teaches us not to compare ourselves with one another.  We are not supposed to look at someone else and be envious of who they are or what they own or do not own.  The only thing I am supposed to compare myself with is the light of God’s word.  That is the only measuring stick that I should compare myself with.  When I look at myself in the reflection of the word of God how do I measure up?

When I look into the mirror of God’s word I realize that there are some things that are still broken.  I also can look back into the past and see the emotional and mental wreckage that is there.  I can see where God has repaired a lot of the damage that was there and has given me a new purpose for living.  He has dusted me off and set me down and given me a new heading, a new course.  When I think about it, I could run myself crazy worrying about what could have been.  If I had done this or that then maybe I would be in a better place or be more successful.  Instead of doing that I chose to reflect upon those things that God has enabled me to do.  When I reflect on what God has done in my life and those things that he has allowed me to walk through then I realize why I am who I am today.

As the title to this blog post reveals, I want us to take the time to “be thankful”.  Instead of looking at our broken lives, or the broken world we live in, I would encourage us to be thankful for those good and positive things that we should be thankful for.  Let’s be thankful that we are alive, and that there is HOPE for the future.  Be thankful that as we observe the landscape of our communities around us, that we can be an active participant in bringing about positive change in those communities.  We can see what is broken and be that person who does the decent thing and pays if forward.  God has bestowed upon us Grace and Mercy while we were not deserving of it.  Let us show our thankfulness by bestowing that Grace and Mercy on those people who live around us.

The holiday season is upon us and there are people all around us that are broken and hurting for many different reasons.  For some people the holiday season only reminds people of those loved ones they have lost or maybe they are in the midst of their own personal or family crisis.  Lets be mindful of that and reach out to those people and do what we can.  We do not need to have magical answers.  We just need to be there in whatever way we can, and let those people know that they matter and that they are not alone.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!

 

 

 

 

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How To Change Your Online Life In 5 Minutes! | Heartstone Journey

How To Change Your Online Life In 5 Minutes! | Heartstone Journey.

I thought this article was worth sharing.

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Life groups- what are they, and why are they important?

Why do we go to church?  Do we go on a regular basis or sporadically?  Do we only go during Easter and Christmas, which is the typical times that people who do not regularly attend go.  Do we go to church fully expecting the church to meet our needs without giving back something in return?  Do we have hidden expectations and if those are not met do we pack up our stuff and head over to the next church across town?

One of the things that I love about Coastal Community Church is that they address those questions head on.  They encourage people to come to church with a desire to serve one another and those in the community.  One of their Tshirts says the following.  “Do not go to church BUT BE the church”.  What does that mean?  It means that the church is made up of people (you and I) and that everyone in the body of Christ (the church) has specific skills and gifts that can be used to bless other people.  Because Christ loved us and gave up his life for the church, we should be willing to love one another and give our love and lives away to other people within and without the church.  We should be a light on a hill and a salt in the earth.  We should be people who make a real difference in the lives of others.

Yesterday was Life Group Sunday.  We are kicking off the many life groups for the Winter and Spring semester that will last 10 to 12 weeks in 2014.  So, why are Life Groups important?  Why is it important that we belong to Life Groups at our local church?  It does not matter what the title is that is given to it.  What matters is that you are walking out your faith with other believers in that local church community.  Here are a list of points we were given yesterday.

 

1. I need others to walk with me  Col 2:6

2. I need others to work with me   Eph 2:10 and Eccl 4:9

3. I need others to watch out for me.    Phil 2:4 and Eccl 4:10

4. I need others to wait and weep with me.   1 Cor 12:26

5. I need others to witness with me    John 13:35 and Phillipians 1:27b

I would encourage you to think about these points and to look up each scripture and see how it applies to you.  I want to encourage everyone who reads this ,to get involved in a local church and become active.  When we do that, that is how we can begin to grow in our faith and spiritual maturity and bless others around us.

 

 

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